It has some of the expected nimble word play, but the rampant heterosexual-ism built on camp and excess, the rococo flourishes of work like “Zoo” or “Sex Planet”, are absent, and so what is left is ego for its own sake. “Having sex with you is like making hits” - actually, thinking of R Kelly’s quality of hits, that must be some prime shagging right there.Īnthony Easton: R Kelly’s sex mixes have their own pleasures (though these are mostly textual, I doubt that people use this like Marvin Gaye). I mean, R clearly thought it was so good that he didn’t need much effort put into the metaphors for the rest of the song. Kat Stevens: I don’t for a minute believe that R Kelly has done Keri Hilson up the bum (though I suppose if she had shagged him in the kitchen it would be easier to mop up afterwards), but the “that’s how you made me a chocoholic” line is just too good not to win Best Use Of Bumsex Innuendo In Popular Song 2009 (look, it might well be a reference to “little Robert” but bumsex is JUST BETTER). Melissa Bradshaw: Despite - or maybe because of - the shifting synths and the soaring auto-tune, I am unconvinced that they are actually having amazing sex.Īlfred Soto: Whenever those basso voices interject “This is Number One!” I imagine the singers pointing at Kelly’s wilted dick. But it’s a poor look for a veteran to so consciously be aping a younger talent’s style, even if he can reproduce it excellently.

The-Dream, who had nothing to do with this track, is a respectable artist to pay homage to, and if anything, Kelly is returning the tribute of “Kelly’s 12 Play,” a song on Nash’s Love vs Money record.

The vocal gimmicks - words slowed, slight shifts in tone, backing cries of “eh”! - are trademark Terius Nash, as is the soft floating quality of the lead vocal. “Number One” is most aptly an ode not to a woman but to The-Dream, the up-and-coming challenger to Kelly’s R&B throne. Jonathan Bradley: Having launched spaceships, cooked vegetables, driven his car, toured the zoo, visited a Hershey’s production plant and jumped into the boxing ring, he’s now turned his attention to making a hit record. Now Tinchy’s lifted the hoodoo on songs accurately predicting their chart positions, it’s basically open season…Īl Shipley: Rappers and R&B singers have been interacting with vocal samples and finding clever ways to make them finish their sentences for about a decade now, which is why there’s no excuse for building a song around a phrase as awkward as “This is number one sex that we’re havin’ here.”

Donnie Trumpet & the Social Experiment.

Email (song suggestions/writer enquiries).

R kelly number one